The kicker about not being able to release control is that it lives inside of you, dividing like cancer cells, spreading like a disease. People can quickly go from calling you organized and dependable to obsessive and overbearing. Being tense all of the time, not smiling enough, not sleeping enough and just not being able to turn off the whirly gigs in my head. That’s where I was at one point. (At this point, my friend, Bob, is rolling his eyes. Sorry, Bob – I KNOW you told me not to share all of my secrets…shame on me!)

Right around this time, my co-workers stopped just short of developing some sort of code word to alert me of my impatience during meetings. In my head I found myself thinking, “Just do it MY way. It’ll be faster and easier!” Of course, in the meantime, I might have been missing out on some important info from the customer – be it verbal or non-verbal cues.

Step 1. Realizing I had a problem.

Even I have come to the earth-shattering conclusion that…gasp…it is not always best to be leading if it means dragging everyone along behind you.

I would sit in board and committee meetings and get so excited about a project I felt as if I would burst. I was the first to raise my hand to lead a special committee. I would take on the organization of the project (of course, who else could do it as well?), lead meetings (well, yeah, I have the most experience) and then manipulate the meeting in such a way as to ensure that the outcome was to my liking. This type of leadership may get the job done, but it doesn’t encourage buy-in. PLUS projects born of such structure are rarely sustainable.

Take it down a notch.

Step 2. Searching for solutions.

My first thought was that I was in need of some sort of physical release. So I tried a kickboxing class. It left me feeling not relaxed, but very, um, combative – angry even. Probably a better choice for someone who has trouble expressing their feelings. Yeah, that isn’t me.

I tried yoga. Releasing control into the universe. Ohhhh yeahhhh. I’ll be honest, this one helped a little. It relaxed me and I can now do a killer downward facing dog. I especially liked the part of class where the room was all dark and my instructor started reading Thoreau in a soothing chant-like tone. Nice. Nappy. But did it help with my control issues? Um…no, not really.

Drastic measures needed to be taken. I had to relearn how to be a leader.

Right about this time I was approached by a couple of different people about the Leadership Door County program. I had been asked to apply before, but never really considered it. After all, I had gotten this far on my own. I already knew A LOT about this county. How could participating in this class possibly be worthy of my time and energy?

Presumptuous and ignorant. Kind of reminds me of how I got fired from my first job out of college. Perhaps a story for another time…

Step 3. Establishing a realistic goal.

Each Leadership Door County class starts in September runs through June. Class members are expected to fulfill two important components of the program. The first is comprised of touring and learning about the county (the jail visit was one that really stuck with me). The second is honing our leadership skills while working along side our classmates to create and implement a class project. Did you know that the Volunteer Center was developed by a Leadership Door County class?

Our class has nine participants in it. The variety of backgrounds, breadth of knowledge and experience of these eight new friends is astounding. I could write about roughly 36 or 37 different experiences I’ve had thus far with my Leadership Door County classmates that have taught me how to be a better leader.

Getting back to the whole control freak issue, I have asked my classmates to stop me when I try to take over. And they do. Gently. I have practiced patience in a non-judging atmosphere. Another classmate is practicing assertiveness in this same non-judging atmosphere – go figure!

Is it working? I think so. I’m taking the time in business meetings (and even in my personal life) to stop finishing sentences in my head and to truly listen. I think it’s made me a better supervisor, a better mom and I feel much more calm. I’ve slowed the whirly gigs and sleep a heck of a lot better.

Shoot. I don’t know. Maybe yoga works for you. Maybe you’re still in denial. I only know that I was in need of a serious intervention and Leadership Door County gave it to me.

OK…so what do you want them to take away from this, Dina…

I feel your pain. I’m reaching out because I can. Control issues, much like perfectionism, can be crippling in business. Being open to others’ views makes for a richer outcome – no matter what your project. The really cool thing about our actions is just that – that they’re OURS. We can change for the better. Is it in you?

Thanks for reading my little story. Feel free to give me a call if you want more information on Leadership Door County or visit their web site at www.leadershipdoorcounty.com

Have a super day!

Dina Boettcher, President
Boettcher Communications, LLC
dina@boettchercommunications.com
920.818.0377

Please join us in welcoming our newest team member, Aaron Van Egeren. Aaron joins Mike in the Web Development department of Boettcher Communications. Born and raised in Green Bay, Aaron is HUGE Packers fan. Aaron attended Preble High School and went on to receive two degrees at NWTC – IT-Computer Support and Web Development. Aaron and his wife, Amy are looking forward to the birth of their first child in October.

So, this time around, instead of promoting the good deeds of this charity or that, I’m writing on behalf of our business clients. The following are 9 items that businesses want charities to know when it comes to making donations.

1. Very few small business owners are independently wealthy. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, “She owns her own business, she must be loaded!” Well…I’d be loaded!
2. When asking for a donation, we would really prefer an appointment, letter, email or call ahead. A drive-by asking for a donation can put us in an uncomfortable position.
3. Just because we say no today, doesn’t automatically mean that a donation is out of the question in the future.
4. We get approached by many different people for many different items…all year long. Silent auction items, service donations, gift certificates, discounts – these may be from non-profits, school groups, churches, etc. Seriously. All. Year. Long.
5. Sometimes it is personal and we don’t want to tell you why we can’t donate at this time. Please don’t be too pushy when asking, “Why not?”
6. I might be having a bad day, bad week, bad month…this doesn’t mean that I lack empathy for your cause.
7. Don’t bother selling me on the “value” of sponsorship. I know there is some value to it – but really, I’m only donating because I relate to your cause.
8. A thank you is always welcome. We don’t do it for the thanks, but it sure feels nice when we receive it.
9. Please don’t speak negatively about my business, just because I had to say no this time around. This is my livelihood and I’m doing the best I can!

We live in an extremely charitable community. Individuals and business owners give and give and give – sometimes ‘til it hurts! Take a moment to truly thank those that do and hey, let’s not be so quick to judge those that don’t. It’s not always an easy decision.

Thanks for reading and have a SUPER day!

Dina Boettcher, President
Boettcher Communications

A Little Help from Your Friends

In an effort to corral the multitude of non-profit requests for free or reduced priced marketing products, Boettcher Communications has made the decision to donate one free logo design package and one free website development package in 2013! Individuals interested in receiving a free logo design or website design on behalf of their favorite Door County non-profit organization, may post why they feel their organization is worthy or has true need for this project on Boettcher Communications’ facebook page. The more posts a non-profit receives, the more likely they are to win! Nominations will be taken through the end of October and decision will be made and announced in November. For more info, check out our facebook page at www.facebook.com/boettchercommunications